That Ashley Girl

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

You Found Me

People unsuspectingly arrive at this blog while looking for some very strange things on search engines.

Yesterday, for instance, there was a startling run of "Deep Throat" related Google searches that directed people here, despite the fact that I don't think I've ever given my detailed thoughts on Richard Nixon before. Go figure.

Anyway, here is just a small sampling of the search engine queries that have landed people here recently (along with pithy comments from me):

Girls Watch Boys Jerk Off

Only the lucky ones.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Toby Maguire

I'll take "Essential Ingredients in an Ashley Sandwich" for $400, Alex.

How to Look Good in a Bikini

Um ... exercise a lot?

Can She Deepthroat

Yes, she can.

Girls That Like Small Cocks

... don't know what they're missing.

Sex Position for Girl to Girl

Sounds like someone's doing a little naughty research.

His Cock is Too Big

I'll take "Things I Will Never Say" for $600, Alex.

My First Handjob

... was given to a boy named Jeremy and lasted approximately 30 seconds, including clean up.

World's Best Pick Up Lines

Is and always will be, "Hey baby, I wanna ride you like Lance Armstrong."

Big Cocks Young Kids

Ewwwww.

Tight Little Girls

Double ewwwww.

I Had Sex With Brother

I hope they are talking about "brother" in the racist sense, because the other possibility is even worse.

Cum on my Face

Yes, sir!

Girl Wanted Big Cock

Who could possibly blame her, really?

Do You Like Your Nipples Licked?

Does a bear shit in the woods? (Sorry, I heard someone say that last week and it cracked me up.)

Lohan's Tits

... seem to be going down faster than me at a frat party after five shots of tequila.

What Does a Girl Do During Sex

If you have to ask, you're really in trouble. Typically, I do my nails or a crossword puzzle.

Girls Walking Around Naked

One of the most underrated things about living on your own, and something you don't come to appreciate until you move back home, is being able to walk around completely naked.

Ashley the Hot Girl

You rang?

Why Do Girls Love Big Cocks

Why is the sky blue? That's just how it's supposed to be.

How Much Do Female Porn Stars Get Paid to Swallow Cum

Probably not enough, although some of us amateurs have been known to do it for absolutely free.

How Big is Too Big Penis

How much is too much ice cream? Exactly.

Naked Girls With Nice Abs

What the upcoming story of my life is tentatively being titled.

31 Comments:

  • At 5:16 AM, Anonymous Marguerite said…

    How Big is Too Big Penis

    How much is too much ice cream? Exactly.

    omg too funny!!!

     
  • At 6:00 AM, Blogger Captain Bee said…

    I never even knew people searched for half that shit...good times.

     
  • At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    [Typically, I do my nails or a crossword puzzle.]

    That was awsome. Really cracked me up.

    Keep it up.

    By the way, how old are you?

     
  • At 8:19 PM, Blogger Chief Slacker said…

    You should watch The Big Liebowski sometime... that Bear in the woods is the Pope pope instead ;O)

    Mark it 8, Dude.

     
  • At 9:52 PM, Blogger Jezebelle said…

    ha ha...nice, I'm always curious about how people find my site too...they usually keep quiet, but a few have emailed requesting sexual acts performed on them...creepy, but it's expected (men are perverted and I love it).

     
  • At 1:46 AM, Blogger vortexia said…

    constant nakedness is one of the biggest pros to living on your own.

    but i have to disagree with toby maguire. he's barely even male!

     
  • At 8:59 AM, Blogger Gage said…

    I agree with Vortexia, Toby is too girly and actually Jake looks like he'd cry if you looked at him wrong.

     
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  • At 8:10 AM, Blogger girl1872 said…

    Not what I was searching for, but none the less and interesting blog here. Thanks for putting it up. I've enjoyed reading alot of the text here. I got you bookmarked for the future, I'll be back.

    My site is a bit different, some think it's odd. I guess it's a matter how you look at it. I have a doctor measure penis size related site. Most of the articles are on doctor measure penis size.

     
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  • At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Search this thing - it is hilarious how people cant even spell right when they are selling something on eBay

    Misspelledauctions.com

     
  • At 2:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Imagine Thousands Of Links Back To Your Web Site From Other People's Blogs!

     
  • At 4:08 AM, Blogger WDM Info Services said…

    Have you listed your blog in a blog directory?

    "blog search google" is what I used to find your blog on google

    blog search google

     
  • At 1:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    to all of the major RSS feed directories on the Internet.

     
  • At 4:13 PM, Blogger WDM Info Services said…

    I like your blog, please list it on my favourite Blog Directory.

    It has lots of links to lost blog blogs

    William MacDonald

     
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