How To ... Get a Fuck Buddy
I got this e-mail the other day:
I'm sure most every guy out there who has never had the pleasure of a fuck buddy in their life is wondering, how does one go about acquiring a relationship like that? Is it something that just happens, and whoever it happens to is just lucky? Is it something that can be requested, if so how can you tell if a girl would be into that?
I know for you, you have A.J. who is an X but most of our X's we would, or at least I would, not want to touch that again. This is something that I've never experienced and is something that at this point in my life is all I want.
I've got plenty of time to have a long term relationship with somebody, much much later. Right now I just need to get laid when the wild hair hits. Maybe you have an answer or you can just ask your audience to offer their opinions.
I love getting e-mails like that one, and I really wish more of the people who read this blog would send them and/or talk about this sort of stuff in the comments. I mean, a thousand people stopped by here over the past two days and yet there were only three stinking comments. Anyway, this is an interesting topic.
The key to having a fuck buddy, I think, is being completely honest with the person. If you pretend that you want a long-term relationship with a girl, you aren't going to be able to be her fuck buddy. Once she has her heart set on something more, accepting something less is difficult.
So in that sense, it is definitely something that can be requested. In fact, in most cases it should be requested, or at least the basic idea should be laid out (no pun intended) prior to things getting more serious.
As for my situation with my fuck buddy, A.J. ... it's probably a unique one. We aren't actually "ex" anythings, since we were never really "going out" and certainly never "broke up."
He is just someone whose company I really enjoy. He's cute, he's nice, he's funny, and I love to have sex with him. We go out plenty, but we have never been exclusive and, although I can only speak for myself, we don't have any visions of a long-term relationship happening.
I know a lot of girls who refuse to have a "simple" relationship with someone like A.J., and that's sad because they are really missing out. Plenty of girls are friends with boys, and plenty of girls are in serious relationships with boys, but there is a middle ground that is an awful lot of fun too.
So instead of one of us trying to make the relationship something it isn't -- and possibly ruining things completely -- we are perfectly happy just going with the flow. Having fun, having some great sex, and being free to see other people. And when we want to be with someone on a Saturday night, we know who to call.
I agree that being a fuck buddy with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend would be difficult, but that's only because you've already established a more serious level of relationship with them. If a producer hires an actor to star in a movie and then tries to get him to play a supporting role in the sequel, it's going to be a difficult situation.
And speaking of being free to see other people, I am going out tonight with the boy who gave me his number last weekend. I am not as ravenously hungry for cock as I was a few days ago (thanks to a visit to my fuck buddy!), so he's probably not going to be seeing me naked tonight.
Of course, you never know. I could use another boy in my rotation. We'll see if he can hold a conversation (and my interest) when there isn't music blasting through speakers 10 feet away and I'm not completely hammered. Not many can.