Bad Date

Sadly, my big date Friday night wasn't very good.

The boy was nice enough (and very cute), but he's just one of those boys who has very little ability to make random, space-filling conversation on a first date. That ability is essential, because in most cases people don't have much of significance to talk about on their first night out together.

Once you get past the "where did you grow up?" and "tell me what sort of stuff you're into?" phases, you're left basically making small-talk with a complete stranger. And he stunk at it, despite my best efforts to assist him.

I consider myself an excellent first date, because I am fun, I am chatty, I am flirty, and I make a genuine effort to keep the conversation flowing. But even I was no match for my date Friday night.

So we awkwardly ate dinner at a very nice restaurant and exchanged monosyllabic pleasantries every once in a while, with huge gaps of complete silence in between. The dessert (chocolate cake) was good, at least.

I figure he must have been completely repulsed by me (unlikely considering how unbelievably hot I looked), extraordinarily shy (equally unlikely considering how he acted the night we first met), or just not much for conversation.

I felt like how I imagine my parents feel when they go out to dinner with me. They spend all night prying and prodding, just trying to get some sort of information out of me, to get me to open up just a tiny bit, and instead are met with short, nearly unresponsive answers.

I have a good excuse for behaving like that, since they're my parents and all, but what excuse does a boy have on a first date? Especially a first date with a cute girl in a short skirt and, as my friend Nicole calls them, "third base pumps" (because the heel isn't quite big enough for them to be "fuck me pumps").

The worst part, of course, is that at the end of the night I heard the dreaded line: "So ... wanna do this again some time?"

Pictured Above: I bet Eva Longoria has much better dates with her cute little French basketball player of a boyfriend/fuck buddy.