20 Questions

I asked for questions from you guys yesterday, and while you provided me with quite a few (thank you!), I have decided instead to tackle 20 of the "random questions" Blogger asks when you fill out your blogging profile.

They are just silly questions, but you can keep looking at new ones by clicking "give me a new question" when you're filling out the form. So I did that 20 times, and then answered them ...

You're going to the moon! What did you forget to pack?

Two words: Pocket Rocket.

You can whistle and steam can whistle, so why do you sing in the shower?

Because I sound so damn good. Seriously, I sing like an angel in the shower.

When you open your eyes underwater, do you ever worry that you'll drown?

No, but I worry that I'll be able to see all the dead people lying at the bottom of the pool.

When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?

I am always being lazy.

You're wearing a sweater that stretches down to your feet. What color belt do you put on?

Black. When in doubt, always go with black.

You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?

At the mall, because clearly I'm going to need something new and fabulous to wear.

The squish of mud between your toes; how would you live your life as a frog?

I would kiss a whole bunch of princes.

You've just inherited a manufacturing plant that specializes in plastics. What are you going to make?

Money?

You've rented a sky-writer to propose to your significant other, but it's completely overcast. What will you do?

Dump him. That's definitely a sign.

Your hand has been replaced by a rubber stamp. What does it say?

"I wish I were a hand."

How do you pronounce the 'g' in bologna?

Very carefully.

In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming?

Because you can't show off your fabulous tan underwater.

For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Dear Aunty,

Thanks for the syrup-filled cock, I will fill my mouth with its contents often.

Love,
Ash

Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability?

Flexibility. Hopefully the boy can provide the expandability on his own.

The love potion you made tastes terrible. How will you drink it?

"Love potion"? Is that what we're calling it these days? I'll tell him to aim it at my tits instead.

If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?

A kick to the nuts. Simple, yet effective.

You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.

Goats can still fly, right?

You get to ride the big roller coaster three times in a row. What will keep your dad from taking a bite out of your candy apple?

The poison I coated it with, hopefully. Plus, he'll be scared of me kicking him in the nuts.

Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?

Christian talk.

The hair from your last haircut ... what would it say about your new style?

"At least it's better than Natalie Portman's."