That Ashley Girl

Friday, September 10, 2004

Catching Up

Before I get to anything, I want to show you how brilliant the people reading this blog are. Earlier this week, I posted a picture of my nearly-empty refrigerator here at school, the entire contents of which consisted of one lonely Sprite can.

Well, my first ever Japanese reader (as far as I know), Antireseau of "The Rest Taken" blog, took the picture and made some virtual enhancements to my supplies.

Here's the before and after ...

How cool is that?

I did in fact go grocery shopping, spending $36.50 on what I consider the bare essentials -- stuff like bread, milk, cereal, Vodka, Margarita mix and Skittles. I also bought a new supply of condoms, since that's the sort of thing you don't want to bring with you to school when your parents are the ones helping you move and unpack.

Sadly, nothing particularly newsworthy or exciting has happened in any of my classes yet, although I'll certainly keep you posted if something interesting occurs. In the meantime, let's get to some of the stuff you guys have left in the comments section over the past few days ...

Regarding the cute, young, extremely shy boy down the hall who I attempted to chat with while he moved in with his mom, Mr. Roboto said:

It is rare that we ever are faced with an opportunity to profoundly shape and change the course of another person's life for the better. While, typically, such opportunities are realized by attentive teachers, role models, or parents, there's nothing excluding such help from an internet sex goddess.

Ashley, this is your chance. With a little help from you, that shy, awkward boy *will* have a different life. As a human being, you have a duty to help him in that way that only Ashley can.

I agree with this completely and, as I said, I am considering making him my project for the semester. However, so far he hasn't cooperated. In fact, I think maybe he's been hiding from me.

Since introducing myself to him on move-in day, I've only seen him once, and that was just for a second while he was heading to class in a hurry. If I don't see him around soon, I think I'm going to re-introduce myself to him this weekend, and hope he's a little more outgoing to me when his mom's not around.

Regarding our shy little boy, Paige said:

I don't think he's gay, or not into you, he's just freaked like shit to be in a university, that's all.

This is obviously what I'm hoping for, although a little shyness isn't so bad (whereas a little gayness does me no good). I'm hoping he was just so nervous to be moving into a dorm, away from home, starting college and everything, that he couldn't properly act when the hot little girl from down the hall came calling.

He'll definitely get another chance to prove the first meeting was an aberration.

Regarding my move-in attire, which I described as my ""I'm trying to make it seem like I just threw anything on to move boxes but I'm really trying to look sexy as hell in these tight little sweatpants and belly-exposing tank-top" outfit, D Rant Master said:

Why is it that when a girl it pulling the "Oh this thing, I just threw it on" look they can come off so sexy? I mean it's not that when you ladies get all dressed up and ready to go you don't make our jaws hit the floor, but sometimes a girl in a tank top, a pair of nice little shorts, and a pony tail says it all.

I'm a big believer in this, although I personally feel sexier when I'm all dolled up. Still, on a typical day, I don't wear much makeup and my outfits are very casual. I'd say I go with jeans/shorts and a tank-top about 75% of the time.

I have a theory that the better looking a girl is, the sexier she'll look in grubby clothes, compared to dressy clothes. In other words, an average looking girl might look pretty good in a cocktail dress and fuck-me pumps, but she probably can't roll out of bed and turn heads getting breakfast in the cafeteria with her pajamas on.

Regarding the same subject, Anonymous said:

I knew it! Girls do know they look attractive wearing the "I'm trying to make it seem like I just threw anything on to move boxes but I'm really trying to look sexy as hell in these tight little sweatpants and belly-exposing tank-top outfit." Thank you for finally confirming my suspicions.

First of all, yeah, we know it. We also know that we could wear a potato sack and boys would think we're sexy. But in this specific case, my outfit was chosen very carefully, as it was move-in day and first impressions are very important.

Sure, I was wearing sweatpants, but they were tight and low cut. And sure, I was wearing some plain old tank-top, but my stomach was prominently featured and my boobs were on display.

It's like when people buy "worn out" jeans for a couple hundred bucks or those hats where the brim is pre-frayed. They are trying so hard to make it seem like they don't care how they look that they've actually come full circle and are probably more conscious of their appearance than people who wear tons of makeup and designer outfits.

And finally, my favorite comment on the week, regarding that lonely Sprite in my fridge, Anonymous said:

It's not a Diet Sprite.

Further evidence that this blog is made up.

First of all, this blog is not made up. If it was, it would be a whole lot more exciting and I'm pretty sure I'd have no problem seducing some 18-year-old down the hall.

Second of all, Diet Sprite is really gross and, for some reason, fairly difficult to find in stores. As for Sprite, it's not exactly like drinking liquid fat ... there are 140 calories in the whole can!

I am in the best shape of my life, probably as physically fit as any girl I know, and I drink Sprite like it's water, all day, every day. Also, I'm pretty sure I've yet to see a fat person who got there from drinking Sprite.

Plus, as Corwin Silvermage said in the comments, "Have you ever noticed how many really obese people drink nothing but diet pop?"

The key to me staying in shape is to eat and drink whatever the hell I want and then exercise like a maniac. That way, you don't have to give up stuff that tastes good and you can get the same results as you would with a diet, with the added benefit of having more tone and muscle.

Maybe I should write a book, like Dr. Phil ...

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

I Think I Need To Go Shopping

Monday, September 06, 2004

Meet the Parents (Post-Game)

I had the big dinner with parents (mine and A.J.'s) on Thursday night, and since I didn't post anything about it on Friday, some of you apparently thought I fell off the face of the earth.

Close, but no quite. Actually, I got home fairly late Thursday night and then immediately called A.J. to discuss what just took place. By the time I was done recapping all the events with him, I didn't have much energy to write about it here. Sorry.

Anyway, it went pretty well. No major incidents or anything like that. My parents were nice to A.J. and his parents, they were nice to my parents. After dinner, we even got into that stereotypical boys on the couch watching sports, girls in the kitchen cleaning dishes and talking thing, which isn't so horrible, I suppose.

A.J. told me my dad was very talkative and friendly with him, which is good. And he apparently didn't begin any conversations with, "I know you're fucking my daughter you son of a bitch ..."

After that, my weekend was spent moving back to school, which isn't my favorite thing to do. I thought my mom's head was going to explode when she saw that not only were there boys living on my floor, the door directly across from mine had a name tag that read, "Justin."

Actually, I didn't even notice it until she asked, "Ashley, did you know there's a boy named Justin living across the hall?"

I resisted the urge to ask, "Is he cute?" or say, "I hope he has a big cock," and simply said, "No."

I've been on the lookout for him ever since I moved in though, because I am, of course, hoping that he is both very cute and has a very big cock. No sign of him or his humungous manhood as of yet. I'll keep you posted.

Over on A.J.'s side of campus, he's living in a pretty nice two-bedroom place with a roommate he's never met. Supposedly the guy isn't showing up until Tuesday. I think I'm actually hoping he's ugly and has a tiny cock, because otherwise that might be kind of weird.

Although, a girl always has to be on the lookout for her first threesome, I suppose.

A.J. and I christened his new bedroom on Sunday. He called me up and said, "Wanna see how fast you can get here?"

I said, "Sure ... start getting undressed and I'll time myself."

I was kidding, but he answered the door completely naked with his cock sticking straight out at attention. He must have been really excited, because it took him about as long to cum as it took me to get there, which is to say about three minutes.

He hasn't been over to my place yet, which is probably just as well, since he might have a similar reaction to my mom when he sees the "Justin" on the door across from me, not to mention the other 10 boys' names on doors near me.

Oh, and in some exciting news ... I saw this really cute, really young boy moving in with just his mom on Saturday. Being the charming, outgoing girl that I am, I walked over and the three of us had the following exchange ...

ASH: Hi! Are you a freshman?

BOY: [Looking around, startled] Um ... yeah ... I'm a freshman.

ASH: Cool. My name is Ashley ...

BOY: [Nodding his head, not saying anything]

ASH: I live down the hall and around the corner, so I'll probably be seeing you around.

BOY: [More head nodding, more not saying anything]

BOY'S MOM: [Realizing I was just going to keep talking to myself if no one else said anything] Nice to meet you, Ashley.

ASH: Nice to meet you too. See ya later ...

I figure either he's semi-retarded, gay or extraordinarily shy. Or maybe he just doesn't like talking to girls when his mom is around, although if that's the case he could have at least given me the "I'm not gay and I'd be glad to fuck you real hard if you come talk to me after she leaves" look.

I know it couldn't have been me, because I was looking very good in my "I'm trying to make it seem like I just threw anything on to move boxes but I'm really trying to look sexy as hell in these tight little sweatpants and belly-exposing tank-top" outfit.

I even gave him the old swiveling hips and ass view as I walked away, although his mom may have been the only recipient of that, since he could have still been staring at his shoes for all I know.

Assuming he has some sort of personality and is attracted to girls, I might make him my project for the semester. I've never had a boy toy before and he looks like he could be a lot of fun.