Thin Lines and Scary Boys
I think most girls, myself included, like an aggressive boy. In other words, we don't want some boy who is too shy to approach us or, once he's gotten to know us a little, too shy to make the first move.
Part of that is being attracted to confidence and part of it is wanting to be approached because it makes us feel good.
On the other hand, there is a very thin line between a boy being confident and aggressive and a boy being just plain scary.
My new Canadian friend, Paige, had an example of this on her blog yesterday:
As I was walking home, the garbage man took a fancy to me, and asked me if I wanted a ride. He then pulled over to the side of the street I was walking on (the opposite one) and followed me for a few blocks, professing his love to me and giving me water to drink and offering the ride home over and over again as cars swerved around the garbage truck.
First of all, I really need to use the word "fancy" more often. Secondly, for those of you wondering, I'd classify that as an example of "scary."
I've had similar things happen to me over the years, as I'm sure is the case with any girl who sometimes finds herself alone somewhere. I've had boys try to "pick me up" while I was walking home in the middle of the night, for instance, which can be a really weird experience.
I mean, even if the boy is cute and is being nice, the fact that he's trying to talk to a complete stranger as you walk home (or wherever you're going) in complete darkness is kind of creepy. Plus, you never know when the situation could turn ugly, especially since I could probably be beaten up by about 99.8% of the world's population.
I was watching one of my new favorite shows, Entourage, when a scene reminded me of an experience I had last year. In the scene, Vincent, the famous movie star, and his three friends, are driving down the street in their brand new Rolls Royce.
They pull up to a red light next to a car with a couple attractive girls in it and start talking. One of the boys in the entourage says, "You girls wanna party? Call two friends and follow us."
Now, in the middle of the day, on a busy street, with another girl in the car, talking to a famous movie star and his friends in a Rolls Royce, that's kind of an exciting situation to be in. And, sure enough, the two girls called two friends and they all partied.
But in the middle of the night, on an empty street, without anyone else in the car with you, it can be downright frightening.
I was driving home from somewhere at around one in the morning last year and, just like in the TV show, pulled up alongside a car (the only other car that I could see) at a red light. There were two boys in the car and they started talking to me, with the typical late-night hey baby, what's your name, where you from, what you doin'? sort of stuff.
They weren't altogether unattractive, so I said "Hi" and maybe a couple other words, and then figured we were done conversing. Turns out, they weren't, so they started yelling stuff at me and then, when the light changed and I sped off, they actually drove after me.
Now, for all I knew, they were crazy, rapist, serial killers. But they also could just have been a couple of decent, horny boys who were bored and driving around on a Friday night.
This is, of course, a perfect example of the thin line between aggressive and scary. Twelve hours earlier, these two boys would have been aggressive. If I had another person in the car with me or I saw a few other cars on the road, they would have been aggressive. But, as it was, they were pretty damn scary.
Obviously nothing bad happened to me, which makes me think they were just trying to have some fun, and I guess this is another one of those "mixed signals" boys are always complaining we give them.
Come up to me at a club and introduce yourself? Great. Pull up to me at a red light in the middle of the night on an empty intersection and start making small-talk? Not so great.
Hit on me at a party even if I blow you off at first? Sure. Follow me for a few blocks on a pitch-black, dimly-lit street after I clearly ignored you on purpose? No thanks.
Hopefully that isn't too much of a downer post heading into the weekend. Sorry. It was just something I was thinking about after I saw Entourage, and then Paige's little story about her new garbage man boyfriend made me think of it again.
By the way, I hope everyone has a great weekend. Go out, drink a little, dance a little, and maybe find an attractive person to have some sex with. Seriously, it's fun. At least do a little heavy petting. We could all use some heavy petting once in a while, right?