That Ashley Girl

Friday, August 06, 2004

Thin Lines and Scary Boys

I think most girls, myself included, like an aggressive boy. In other words, we don't want some boy who is too shy to approach us or, once he's gotten to know us a little, too shy to make the first move.

Part of that is being attracted to confidence and part of it is wanting to be approached because it makes us feel good.

On the other hand, there is a very thin line between a boy being confident and aggressive and a boy being just plain scary.

My new Canadian friend, Paige, had an example of this on her blog yesterday:

As I was walking home, the garbage man took a fancy to me, and asked me if I wanted a ride. He then pulled over to the side of the street I was walking on (the opposite one) and followed me for a few blocks, professing his love to me and giving me water to drink and offering the ride home over and over again as cars swerved around the garbage truck.

First of all, I really need to use the word "fancy" more often. Secondly, for those of you wondering, I'd classify that as an example of "scary."

I've had similar things happen to me over the years, as I'm sure is the case with any girl who sometimes finds herself alone somewhere. I've had boys try to "pick me up" while I was walking home in the middle of the night, for instance, which can be a really weird experience.

I mean, even if the boy is cute and is being nice, the fact that he's trying to talk to a complete stranger as you walk home (or wherever you're going) in complete darkness is kind of creepy. Plus, you never know when the situation could turn ugly, especially since I could probably be beaten up by about 99.8% of the world's population.

I was watching one of my new favorite shows, Entourage, when a scene reminded me of an experience I had last year. In the scene, Vincent, the famous movie star, and his three friends, are driving down the street in their brand new Rolls Royce.

They pull up to a red light next to a car with a couple attractive girls in it and start talking. One of the boys in the entourage says, "You girls wanna party? Call two friends and follow us."

Now, in the middle of the day, on a busy street, with another girl in the car, talking to a famous movie star and his friends in a Rolls Royce, that's kind of an exciting situation to be in. And, sure enough, the two girls called two friends and they all partied.

But in the middle of the night, on an empty street, without anyone else in the car with you, it can be downright frightening.

I was driving home from somewhere at around one in the morning last year and, just like in the TV show, pulled up alongside a car (the only other car that I could see) at a red light. There were two boys in the car and they started talking to me, with the typical late-night hey baby, what's your name, where you from, what you doin'? sort of stuff.

They weren't altogether unattractive, so I said "Hi" and maybe a couple other words, and then figured we were done conversing. Turns out, they weren't, so they started yelling stuff at me and then, when the light changed and I sped off, they actually drove after me.

Now, for all I knew, they were crazy, rapist, serial killers. But they also could just have been a couple of decent, horny boys who were bored and driving around on a Friday night.

This is, of course, a perfect example of the thin line between aggressive and scary. Twelve hours earlier, these two boys would have been aggressive. If I had another person in the car with me or I saw a few other cars on the road, they would have been aggressive. But, as it was, they were pretty damn scary.

Obviously nothing bad happened to me, which makes me think they were just trying to have some fun, and I guess this is another one of those "mixed signals" boys are always complaining we give them.

Come up to me at a club and introduce yourself? Great. Pull up to me at a red light in the middle of the night on an empty intersection and start making small-talk? Not so great.

Hit on me at a party even if I blow you off at first? Sure. Follow me for a few blocks on a pitch-black, dimly-lit street after I clearly ignored you on purpose? No thanks.

Hopefully that isn't too much of a downer post heading into the weekend. Sorry. It was just something I was thinking about after I saw Entourage, and then Paige's little story about her new garbage man boyfriend made me think of it again.

By the way, I hope everyone has a great weekend. Go out, drink a little, dance a little, and maybe find an attractive person to have some sex with. Seriously, it's fun. At least do a little heavy petting. We could all use some heavy petting once in a while, right?

See ya.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Hanging With Troublemakers

I went out to dinner with a big group of people on Monday night and we got scolded by the manager of the restaurant about 15 times and finally were told, "If you can't quiet down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

I was so embarrassed! But also sort of proud to be hanging with a group of such loud, boisterous, obnoxious people. Cause, you know, those are the people who have the most fun.

And we weren't even all that drunk -- well, okay, some of us were -- we were just so very happy to be together, on a beautiful night, eating and drinking and laughing and yelling. Apparently some of the other people there weren't so happy for us.

So after we finished ruining everyone else's evening, we moved the loudness to this boy Mark's house, where he had more drinks, less people who didn't like yelling, and a pool. Of course, no one knew we were going to go to his house with the pool when we went to dinner, so there was a major lack of swimsuits all around.

Now, some of you might be saying, "Big deal, why can't people just swim in their underwear?" That's a good point, except for the fact that a large number of the girls there, in addition to being without swimsuits, were also sans underwear. Hey, I told you it was an interesting crowd!

But this didn't turn into some naked pool party or anything (sorry). Instead, some of the girls borrowed shorts from our gracious host, Mark, and those who were completely without under garments also borrowed t-shirts to cover up the upper half of their nakedness. Of course Mark, being the shrewd, horny boy that he is, made sure to give this girl with gigantic boobs a white t-shirt.

And so that was my Monday night. Almost getting kicked out of a restaurant and then hanging out with a bunch of no-underwear-wearing freaks poolside. I was a good girl, wearing both panties and a bra, although once I hit the water, those became so see-thru and sheer that I might as well have been wearing nothing.

But I figured I didn't have anything that they haven't seen before, right? And I mean that literally for a lot of the people there, as in they've seen me naked before in some form or another.

Plus, getting almost naked led to one of my best moments of the summer. After swimming a little, I was standing next to a girl named Lynn, just chatting. I noticed her staring at my stomach and making a weird face, so I looked down, saw nothing strange, and said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said. "How the hell did you get your stomach so flat? That's amazing."

More beautiful words have never been spoken. "Sit-ups," I said. "Lots of sit-ups."

And you know what? She's right. I've been obsessed with my stomach this summer, so much so that I think I've worked it into the best shape it can possibly be in. There isn't an ounce of fat on it, but it's still in that "flat and muscular without being manly" area, which is as far as I care to push it.

I haven't worn a shirt that covers my stomach in like a month and I have to tell you, being able to walk around in a bra or a bikini without worrying about your stomach looking bad when you bend over or sit a certain way is really a freeing experience.

Plus, remember back when I started this blog, how I wrote that my goal from working out was to look incredible while doing the "reverse cowgirl" position during sex?

Here's a little bit of what I said at the time about the reverse cowgirl position:

Whatever you've got (or whatever you don't have) is out there. Tits are bouncing, stomach is flexing, arms are holding, legs and thighs are doing all sorts of bending. And, needless to say, your "cookie" (or whatever you want to call it, so long as it's not the other, dreaded "c-word") is on full display.

It can either be a mess or, as is my hope, it can be an impressive sight. My mother always told me that I had to have goals.

I'm proud to say I've reached my goal (my mom would be so happy!). How do I know? I did a full-scale test with A.J. after the pool party on Monday night, complete with two separate sessions, both involving a mirror.

I passed with flying colors and a nice pool of cum right on my oh-so-flat stomach.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Mean People Suck

Sorry about the lack of a new entry yesterday, but I was really busy Monday night (which is when I usually write Tuesday's entry) and I was sort of frustrated with you guys anyway, so I decided to take a day off.

After getting a whole bunch of good questions from you guys over the weekend, I answered a lot of them on Monday and expected a good discussion to take place in the comments.

But guess what? From the time I posted the entry late Sunday night until Monday night, there wasn't a single comment. Not one! And 293 of you read Monday's entry!

You guys are so shy.

Then yesterday, without a new entry to read, some of you got mean.

Anonymous said:

i bet you don't even know your zip code hahaha

Good one.

Anonymous said:

i wonder what that ashley girl looks like?

i bet she's borderline retarded

Another good one.

Anonymous said:

what's the smallest amount of money you'd have intercourse for? $250 US?

I get it ... a girl who likes to have sex and isn't afraid to talk about it is a whore!

As if a bunch of dumb comments from people too afraid to put a name next to their words wasn't enough, I got mentioned on a website called "Cewebrity: A Self Obsessive Narrative Compository."

Here's what was said about little old me:

That Ashely Girl ... has rocketed it's webmistress (old term, we know) to stardom (right?) because she did a post about doing lots of anal.

This is awesome. This chick totally just literally slutted herself out for some cewebrity. We all have a total crush on her.

It then goes on to quote my answer to the question about anal sex from Monday, before adding:

She goes on to talk about tonguing boys, deep throating, etc etc. A quick scan down the page just now shows us that apparently her whole gimmick is to slut herself out. That's cool. We're down with that. We need more openly slutty cewebrities.

Somehow I doubt that a boy talking about fucking a girl in the ass would get talked about like that. I'm "slutting myself out" because I'm talking about sex? I "did a post about doing lots of anal" because I said, "I have participated in anal sex, although not often"?

Please. All this crap about girls being sluts because they are willing to be sexual is just dumb. A boy who fucks people and writes about it is just a boy. A girl who fucks people and writes about it is a slutty slut who is slutting herself out.

And boys wonder why most girls aren't willing to be free and open about sex. Here's a hint: STOP CALLING US SLUTS!

I like to touch people and I like to be touched. I like to have orgasms and I like to give other people orgasms. I like to be naked and I like to have good, clean, sweaty fun while I'm naked. If only everyone in the world were slutty like me, we'd all be walking around as happy as could be.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Ask Ash (Volume 1)

I asked for questions on Friday and you guys sure gave them to me. I got too many to answer them all this time, so we'll have to do this again in a little while (start thinking of more questions!) Let's get right to them, shall we?

Are you still in college?

Yes. Actually, anyone asking this probably isn't paying that much attention. First of all, I talk about stuff that happened to me at school last year and, perhaps more importantly, I describe living with my parents during the summer.

If I weren't still in college, there is absolutely no way I would be staying with my parents during the summer. Not even a 1-in-1,000,000 chance, literally zero.

Underwear preference? Thong, granny or commando?

I think I'm usually at about 33% thong, 33% bikini and 33% commando. Some outfits simply look and feel better sans underwear, and I'm always one for looking and feeling better. I have a few pairs of "granny panties," but those usually only get worn on laundry day or time-of-the-month day.

Do you match the panties with the rest of the outfit?

I think I wear the plain, white underwear a lot more than most girls I know, so in that sense I don't do as much matching with outfits as I could. I mean, white goes with just about everything, right? Plus, I like the way white looks on me.

However, if I'm going out at night or on a date or to a party, and I think there is even a 1% chance that someone will end up seeing my underwear, I always match them to my outfit as best I can.

And, if I'm wearing something that doesn't have a direct match in my extensive panty collection, I usually just go with black. Or nothing; I've found that boys are rarely disappointed when they discover you aren't wearing underwear.

Anal. Your thoughts? Do you participate, are you "into it?" What type of ass play have you experimented with? Touching, tonguing, penetration? Have you ever done any of the above to the guy you've been with?

This was the question I got the most -- in various forms -- so I'm choosing this version of it because it includes a bunch of different little questions within it. By the way, you guys are officially obsessed with assholes.

I have participated in anal sex, although not often. I will say that, if done correctly and with the right boy, it can be very enjoyable. However, it is not for everyone and it is definitely not something I would work into my regular sex routine. Once a month, tops. After that, I think it might get kind of weird.

Think of it as eating ice cream after a meal. It's obviously great, but if you ate ice cream after every meal you had -- at home or a restaurant, for breakfast, lunch and dinner -- you'd eventually get sick of it and people would start thinking you were some kind of weirdo ice cream addict.

That's anal sex. It's good, and if you want to have it once in a while after a really good meal (to completely mix the metaphors), that's cool. Just don't push it on me (pun intended) every time.

That said, a little ass-tonguing action during a boy's regular session of oral sex on me is always welcome. Of course, I wouldn't recommend starting your oral journey there. But once you've got me nice and lathered up, I'd say you can pretty much put your tongue anywhere you want and I won't object.

While most boys are only into anal because they think it's "taboo" and that "getting it" from a girl gives them some sort of power over them, I think most people would tell you that the ass is actually a very sensitive area. So, after you've introduced yourself to Ms. Clit, feel free to be adventurous with your tongue.

Now, on the other hand, I'm not a big fan of doing anything involving a boy's butt. First of all, most guys don't like it, because they think anything coming close to their ass makes them "gay."

Secondly, I don't feel confident enough in the hygiene of most boys to go into that area. If a boy I was with requested some butt-play, I might oblige, but I'm not going to be the one initiating it.

What would you do if a guy asked if he could cum on your pizza and have you swallow it that way?

Depends, was it there in 30 minutes or less?

How open minded are you? Where would you draw the line? Threesome, anal, etc.

Well, I already covered anal. As for threesomes, I am more of a one-on-one girl, although the idea of being with two people at once doesn't disgust me or anything. I'm fairly sure, at some point in my life, I'll do it. But I haven't yet.

In general, I don't have a line. If it is something that sounds fun or interesting and I am into the person (or people, I guess), I'll try it. I mean, what's the worst that can happen trying something? You get scarred for life and labeled a slutty freak? Big deal.

How many inches can you deep throat?

How many you got?

At what age do girls stop wanting to just have sex and actually want to fall in love?

When I get there, I'll let you know. All I can say definitively at this point is that it is somewhere after the age of 21.

What is your favorite question?

"Do you mind if I stay down here? I'd like to keep licking your clit."

Do I really have to signal a girl while she's giving me a blow job before I cum?

Only if you ever want another one.