As a young, sweet, innocent girl who often finds herself hanging around with a whole bunch of crude boys, one of my favorite things to do is crack one of their "codes."
What do I mean? Well, a boys-only code can be anything from a weird look they give each other every time a certain person or subject is brought up in the conversation, to a phrase like "butterface" that they think they can get by with saying because no girl in the vicinity knows the true meaning.
Well, I busted a bunch of boys on Saturday night. They were talking about a girl we all know, one who was supposed to be at the party but had something come up at the last minute. So I say something like, "I wish she could have been here, she's cool."
And one of the boys goes, "Yeah, me too," which induces a bunch of goofy chuckles from a couple of the other boys. The chuckles die down and then, after a few seconds of silence, one of the boys says, very subtlety, "D.S.L.'s."
Here's the problem with hanging out with me if you're a group of boys ... I know what fucking D.S.L.'s are. Here, I'll show you a picture of them ...
Anyway, I chose to play it cool and act like one of the boys, so I just calmly responded, "Yeah, she does have great lips."
Turns out, I would have gotten fewer weird looks if I had said, "Yeah, I murdered my family this morning."
Boys think they're so slick, with their special language for talking about girls' body parts. Well, they're not. I know what fucking Dick Sucking Lips are. I have a pair of my own!
In other news ...
I saw over the weekend that Nick Carter and Paris Hilton broke up. What a shocker. I thought this one quote from the story
was particularly humorous ...
It was Hilton who ended the romantic relationship, said her publicist, Gina Hoffman.
"She's concentrating on her work," Hoffman told the AP.
Concentrating on her "work" I don't buy for a moment. Concentrating on a "job"
on the other hand, seems entirely plausible.
Just look at that picture of Paris and Nick. They are such a cute, incredibly dumb couple. I think Nick Carter is very fuckable (for some reason I picture him with a nice-sized cock and a very well-groomed pubic area), but if there is anyone in the world who shouldn't be wearing Fila sweatsuits, it's probably Nick Carter.
By the way, I saw the Paris Hilton sex-tape and I thought she looked pretty good, but is definitely a "cold fish" in bed. She basically just sat there (or laid there) completely motionless, completely emotionless, while the boy just pounded away at her. What fun is that?
I will say that the boys I've talked to who have seen it were extremely impressed with her oral ("job") skills. I found it interesting that the "task" was "completed" (see, I have code words too!) on her chest, as opposed to in her mouth or on her face, but of course we've discussed that topic here already
I told the boys I know who have seen the video that I was really impressed by the boy (I forget his name) who Paris was with, but they didn't really want to discuss that. Boys who won't talk about big cocks are no fun.
While one Hollywood romance has ended, another is still going strong ...
I saw this story
over the weekend too:
Teen queen Lindsay Lohan and her reported beau, That 70’s Show's Wilmer Valderrama, have reportedly admitted to a romance.
Now that she has turned 18 and it is legal, Freaky Friday star Lindsay Lohan and her boyfriend Valderrama have reportedly gone public with their romantic relationship. It has been rumored that the two were dating since May. Valderrama and Lohan both insisted they were "just friends," because Lohan was only 17 and Valderrama is 24. Now that it is legal for them to date, Valderrama has been telling everyone that she is his girlfriend.
First of all, how funny is it that a 24-year-old boy can be fucking a 17-year-old and just say "we're just friends" until she's 18, when he can then "confess" what they've been up to. I mean, just because she's now 18 doesn't make him fucking her when she was 17 any more legal, does it? Not that I have a problem with a 17-year-old fucking a 24-year-old (don't knock it 'til you've tried it), I'm just saying.
Anyway, this means that Wilmer Valderrama
, who plays a goofy foreign exchange student on a mildly successful sitcom, has now fucked both Mandy Moore
and Lindsay Lohan. To which I say, what does this boy have, a huge cock or great drugs? Probably both, huh?
Justin Timberlake getting Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz (among others) is understandable, because Justin Timberlake is fucking hot, not to mention hugely famous and successful. But some random TV show co-star getting two of the hottest young singer/actress hybrid girls around? It boggles the mind.
Just imagine that the young man pictured above has now had his cock inside of both these girls ...
Now think about where your penis has been over the last couple years. Life isn't fair, is it?