That Ashley Girl

Thursday, July 15, 2004

My Not So Little Brother

There was a time, many years ago, when I thought my little brother was cute. Then he got to be about eight or nine years old and just became an annoyance. Luckily for me, right around the time when he started to get extraordinarily annoying, I was able to move away to college for three-fourths of the year.

But now I'm back home for the summer and dealing with him again. I have a feeling that he's getting to the tipping point, the time at which he peaks as an annoyance and then gradually becomes a regular, tolerable human being. He's 16 and I can see signs of him being someone I can tolerate for more than 10 minutes at a time. He's not there yet, but it's on the horizon.

I've been slowly coming around to seeing him as a semi-adult lately, and then yesterday something just hit me like a ton of bricks and made me realize just how grown up he is.

My little, stupid, annoying brother, who used to pull my hair, point out my physical development to anyone we came in contact with, and pull his pants down in front of my friends when they came over, had a girl over to the house while my parents were away yesterday.

I know this because I came home from work about two hours early and her cute little sports car was in our driveway. Funny thing is, when I went into the house to say hello, they were nowhere to be found. Guess what? They were in my brother's bedroom.

First of all, it's humorous to me that he is now doing things I used to do, namely having people over to the house while my parents are at work and not telling them about it. I, of course, have absolutely no problem with that or even with him bringing girls up to his room.

It's just shocking to me. I didn't even think he was all that interested in girls, beyond talking about their "tits" and talking about all the stuff he'd "do" to them. I just figured it was typical 16-year-old talk between he and his little buddies. But now he's got a girl up in his room, doing who knows what, and it just totally flew under my radar.

I have to say, I'm sort of proud. He's a good looking kid and, although I generally can't stand him, I can see that people his own age might enjoy hanging out with him. And really, would you rather have your annoying brother be popular and have a lot of friends, or would you rather have your annoying brother be a total loser?

On one level it might be funny if he was a loner who was home alone on Saturday nights, but I do want him to have a good life. Plus, maybe he'll become a better person if he's happy with his life. And, even more importantly, maybe one of his friends will have a cute brother or something.

Anyway, I waited around downstairs, checking my e-mail and watching TV. After about 20 minutes, the two of them came floating down the stairs, smiling and laughing. She had the look of love in her eyes and he had that "I can't believe she let me do that to her" grin on his face.

Then they saw me sitting there and I could tell my brother wasn't sure what to say or think.

"Hi. I'm Ashley. What's your name?"

"I'm ..." this cute little girl who was now not so much in love as totally embarrassed, started to say.

"This is Kelly ... Kelly, this is my sister," my brother said, flashing me the same look he used to flash me when he spilled something on the carpet.

I decided right then and there that I would be nice to this girl, so I introduced myself, asked her where she lived, and avoided the topic of what she was or wasn't doing a few minutes earlier upstairs, under the watchful eye of my brother's Britney Spears poster.

And, amazingly, she seems like a nice, normal, attractive 16-year-old girl. She has blond hair, blue eyes and a nice, petite body, she is almost as tan as I am, and she was very chatty and sweet. In other words, she's far, far too good for my brother. But I won't mention that if she doesn't.

I also promised my brother that I wouldn't say a word of any of it to my parents, a promise I plan on keeping despite the fact that he used to squeal on me constantly. ("Ashley had a boy over ... Ashley and her friends were smoking outside ... Ashley punched me in the stomach ...")

So that was my day yesterday. Come home early from work, meet your brother's girlfriend (or whatever she is) and figure out that he'll turn 17 pretty soon and is actually turning into a real, live, horny boy.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

A Bad Party

I went to an "All-Star Game Party" last night with A.J. Seriously.

A bunch of his friends got together at this boy's house and watched a boring baseball game for like four hours. There were four other girls there, all of whom, like me, would rather have been doing just about anything (or anyone) than watching baseball.

I sat down and watched the first couple innings until I realized this was all they were going to be doing the whole night. I figured at some point they'd step away from the TV and do something (anything!) else. But no, they just wanted to watch every inning of some baseball game that doesn't even count in the standings.

I don't know how I get myself roped into these things. I was feeling so good about where I was at with A.J. and how much fun we were having together this summer that I guess I just sort of zoned out when he said, "Wanna come with me tonight to a party to watch the All-Star game?"

Anyway, the only thing that saved it from being a disastrous night was that the house had a pool, there were drinks a plenty, and some of the girls had a fun time bugging the boys throughout the entire game.

The funniest line of the night came from A.J.'s friend Joe, whose girlfriend wouldn't quit bugging him. After like two hours of her standing in front of the TV and asking him constant questions, he said, "Look, if you don't leave, I'm going to have to kill you. I'm sorry to say that, but it's just what's going to happen."

To which one of A.J.'s other friends quickly chimed in, "Or if you're gonna just stand there being a pain in the ass, at least get naked."

I've never understood why boys invite girls to places they clearly don't want them to be at. A.J. didn't say anything mean to me, but I didn't really feel like bugging him because that's just not my style.

Instead, I just went swimming, chatted it up with the other girls, and tried to let him have a fun time by himself. But like why would this boy Joe even bother bringing his girlfriend along? Makes no sense to me, and it's not only asking for trouble that night, it's going to create tension in the relationship.

Anyway, I guess I'm moody, because I was in a great mood before the party yesterday and now I'm in a bad mood. And now today I have to go to work for the whole day, which surely won't get me out of my funk. Perhaps I'll do a bit of flirting with my boss, Jamie (he of the hairy chest and beautiful abs), just for the hell of it. That always gets me in a good mood.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Perfection

I had a good day yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting, but just a nice day.

I was at A.J.'s house, and we were lounging by the pool. I was just lying down, tanning, and he was reading a book about poker. After at least 20 minutes of dead silence, I hear, "Hey Ash ... are you just using me for my pool?"

Without hesitating, I said, "Of course."

To which he said, "Okay good, just checking."

And another 20 minutes of silence went by.

Now, I'm not sure exactly why, but I thought that was funny, and for some reason it made me feel good. First of all, I like that we're able to just sort of hang out around each other, not always with each other. The fact that we could sit by the pool for an hour, barely say anything, and just enjoy relaxing in each others' company is a really nice thing, in my opinion.

Plus, he was just so cute, sitting there in the sun with nothing but his trunks on, reading his dorky poker book. If I wasn't already fucking him, I would have thought about starting.


We did it twice. Once outside by the pool (which is completely private) and once inside in his room.

After all that silence by the pool, I told him I was going inside to get something to drink. As I was walking by his chair, he said, "Hold on, will you grab me something?"

Being the lovely, thoughtful, kind girl that I am, I said "sure" and then sat down, straddling him. And then you know the story. Kissing leads to touching, touching leads to rubbing, rubbing leads to fucking. I'm pretty sure that was the title of a lesson in the sex-ed class I took in high school.

Anyway, it was pretty good. Up in his room was even better because, as A.J. says, he was able to "waste one" down by the pool. Plus, as much fun as it is to do it outside, spontaneously, it's also nice to be in a big bed. Plus, there are all sorts of good positions that can't properly be done on a lounge chair.

After a year away at school, living on my own, there is something kind of fun about having sex in someone's parents' house while they are at work. I know that should have stopped being cool when I was like 16 or so, and I'm guessing A.J.'s parents assume we're having sex somewhere, but there's something about it that makes it kind of kinky and exciting.

So, all in all, a wonderful, uneventful day. A little swimming, a little lounging, a little tanning, a little sexing. If only I had gone shopping, it would have been perfect.

(That picture is NOT of me, although I do think I sort of look like that girl. It was just the first good picture that popped up when I did a search for "pool sex" on Yahoo!.)

Monday, July 12, 2004

Meat

According to a study done by the Alfred C. Kinsley Institute for Sex Research (yes, that's a real place), the average man has a penis 6.16 inches long when erect. According to the same study, 62.2% of men fall between six and seven inches in length.

According to a study done by the That Ashley Girl Institute for Dirty Blog Entries, 99.9% of men wish they had a bigger penis, which matches up nicely with the results from the Kinsley Institute study that show just 0.1% of men are larger than nine inches.

So, here's the big question ... How big is too big?


As I've said before, I don't consider myself a "size queen." I've never told a boy his cock (my official word for penis ... it sounds better than "dick") was too small and I've never determined the worth of a boy by way of his cock.

At the same time, I've been fortunate enough, in my various sexual escapades, not to run into any really small boys. So who knows? Maybe if I was with a boy who was three inches or something, I'd find out that I really was a size queen after all.

I will admit to really looking forward to that moment when a boy first takes his pants off in front of me, or the even better moment when I first slide my hand down his pants. I like the former because it is sort of an unveiling, but I like the latter because I have to use my sense of touch to come up with a size estimate. Plus, there is nothing better for a girl's ego than to slide your hand down a boy's pants and find that he's already rock hard.

I will also admit to being more excited after the unveiling or the estimate produces a big cock. There's just something about it that makes a boy more powerful, more sexy, more of a challenge. I also think boys with big ones are far more confident during sex.

A lot of people say that boys with small cocks are better lovers because they have to work harder, and while I agree that working hard is a very good thing in bed, there is no substitute for a nice, long, thick cock.

So again, how big is too big? Well, I've never been with any porn stars or anything, but I've had my fair share of experiences with big cocks. I would say that 7-8 inches is just about perfect, for me at least.

I know some girls who say, "I'm a small girl, so I don't like them too big" or "I'm a big girl, so I can handle a bigger one." I think that's mostly bullshit, because, last I checked, your height or weight doesn't determine the size of your pussy.

For instance, I am fairly petite and slender, and while I consider my vagina to be both beautiful and fabulous, I'd guess it's average sized, if there is such a thing.

So yeah, seven or eight inches. Thick is good too. Nine can be challenging but fun. Six inches makes you both average and just fine for me. I've never had a ten-incher (I don't think ... I don't usually measure them), but I wouldn't be against giving it a go.

And, for all you five-inchers out there, don't worry, I've been with some of you too. Five inches can be just fine, although it helps if the boy is either a) extremely good looking or b) extremely good with his tongue. But hell, those two things help a boy with nine inches in his pants too.

One observation I have in regard to penis size is that boys with large cocks tend to make mention of it during sex. If you're blowing a boy with eight inches, you might hear "You like that big cock in your mouth?" or "Gag on that big dick baby." If you're having sex with the owner of a big cock, you might hear, "Take it all."

On the other hand, I've yet to hear an averaged-sized boy warn me not to "choke on it," for instance.

So, to recap my order of preference ...

a) 8 inches
b) 7 inches
c) 9 inches
d) 6 inches
e) 5 inches
f) 10 inches
g) Larger than 10 inches
h) Smaller than 5 inches

I know this is silly, but I do have a fantasy about being with a boy with a huge, porn-star sized cock. I'm not saying I'd like to marry such a boy, but I'd like play with it for an hour or so, just to see what it was like.

Any volunteers?