That Ashley Girl

Monday, May 24, 2004

What are you working out for?

I was talking to Katie, one of my best friends, and we decided exactly what our goal is from working out so much (I think I might be legally married to this one elliptical machine I'm on it so much).

A lot of girls I know say stuff like, "I want to look good in a bikini" or "I want to lose 15 pounds" or "I just want to feel good about myself."

All of that is fine, obviously. However, we came up with a more specific, truthful answer. Katie and I decided that our ultimate goal for working out is to look really incredible doing "reverse cowgirl." For those of you not up to speed on things, reverse cowgirl is a sexual position that basically has the girl on top of the boy, with her back to him.

Here's what Wikipedia ("The Free Encyclopedia") has to say about it:

In the reverse cowgirl sex position,

- the man lies on his back
- the woman sits on top of him facing away from him, with his legs between her legs, and with her groin aligned over his to facilitate penetration.

It is one of a number of female superior sexual positions.

Features of the reverse cowgirl position:

- penetration is quite deep
- the woman can control the depth and intensity of penetration, and enjoy the dominant feeling of being in control
- some men enjoy the submissive feeling of being on the bottom

Disadvantages of the reverse cowgirl position:

- neither partner can see the other well
- caressing is difficult
- some women find supporting their weight on their arms hard

Since the penis is bent downwards in this position, care needs to be taken in this position, to avoid damage to the penis, particularly if it slips out during intercourse.

I don't know why, but it always cracks me up to read something like that explained in an encyclopedia.

For those of who still don't get it, here's a picture:

Anyway, Katie and I have decided, through personal experience, watching porn and talking to boys, that this is the single most important thing in life. Anyone can look good in a bikini. Anyone can drop 15 pounds. Anyone with enough Prozac can feel good about themselves.

But how many girls do you know who can look completely amazing while doing reverse cowgirl on top of some boy? Not many, I bet. Katie and I want to be two of the few, two of the proud.

But why is it so difficult to look good doing reverse cowgirl? Here's another quote from Wikipedia that explains it pretty well:

The reverse cowgirl is a popular position depicted in pornography aimed at men, as it provides the photographer with a full front view of the woman whilst hiding the man from view behind her body.

In other words, whatever you've got (or whatever you don't have) is out there. Tits are bouncing, stomach is flexing, arms are holding, legs and thighs are doing all sorts of bending. And, needless to say, your "cookie" (or whatever you want to call it, so long as it's not the other, dreaded "c-word") is on full display.

It can either be a mess or, as is my hope, it can be an impressive sight. My mother always told me that I had to have goals.